Emotional Intelligence Tips
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE TIPS LIMITED ARCHIVE 2.0
Access the Emotional Intelligence Tips Archive 2.0 to understand, use, and manage your own emotions in positive ways to relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathize with others, overcome challenges, and defuse conflict.
Being Resilient
From a very insightful woman in a small Georgia town……”if we let something bother us for more than 5 minutes, then we are part of the problem”.
Being Still
The world is moving at a frenetic pace, but that doesn’t mean we have to go along.
We should take at least a few minutes each day to step off the merry-go-round and be still.
This week let’s focus on being still. If we listen to our breathing and let go of any negative feelings we have, we can return to our feeling of peacefulness.
We should then close our eyes and visualize how we want the rest of our day to go.
Forgiveness
When we hate, resent, or hold grudges against others, all we are doing is allowing them to continue to impact our lives.
By continually sacrificing our emotional energy in negative ways, we directly allow others to control us.
Remember, forgiveness is for you.
Gratitude
So often in the midst of our busy days, we forget to take time to appreciate what is in front of us…
“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.”
– Melody Beattie
Habits
“This is a reminder of the central role of habits in our daily existence, and also a reminder of the very purpose of mastering habits: to live well. It may take time and effort to change our habits, but in the end, they make our lives better.” – Gretchen Rubin
“If I consider my life honestly, I see that it is governed by a certain very small number of patterns of events which I take part in over and over again…when I see how very few of them there are, I begin to understand what huge effect these few patterns have on my life, on my capacity to live. If these few patterns are good for me, I can live well. If they are bad for me, I can’t.” – Christopher Alexander
I would suggest reading “7 Habits of Highly Effective People” by Stephen Covey
Letting It Be
Even with the world swirling around us, we should be conscious of the fact that we can find peace in ourselves by living in the moment, being kind, and, in the words of those great English Philosophers John Lennon and Paul McCartney, just trying to “let it be”.
Let’s try our best to not react to stimuli or triggers that occur in our lives: the negative news, traffic, comments by a co-worker, a difficult moment with a family member or significant other, etc. Just try to “let it be.”
Recognize that it is usually our reaction that brings significance to these events or words, rather than the events or words themselves. By reacting, we are allowing these events or words to disrupt our peace.
Moving On
“Recognize when a phase, a job, a life stage, or a relationship is over and let it go. Allow yourself to gracefully exit situations you have outgrown. Moving on doesn’t have to be a catastrophic or dramatic event. You can simply choose to move forward with peace and clarity.”
–Unknown
Removing Toxic People
I had an old acquaintance remind me of a certain co-worker that she and I had worked with many years ago. We discussed how negative the person was (and as it turned out corrupt). She told me that she left the organization due to her intuition that this person would be unhealthy to be around on a regular basis. And I thought, what insight because she was so right; this person became so toxic that he nearly destroyed the organization by being negative, manipulative and retaliatory when he did not get his way.
She avoided all of that by sensing her discomfort and moving away from the person to another organization, which for her proved to be the right choice. We can also choose to stay in those circumstances but the emotional energy commitment can be intense and one needs to do a cost/ benefit analysis. As I get older, I tend to opt for the healthier (gently distancing or moving away completely) option rather than the tolerance/try not to react option.
Toxic people can suck the energy right out of us and disrupt our peace but only if we let them. It’s up to us. We cannot change them (even knowing this, at times many of us still try, and I understand it is because we feel there is so much at stake); but ultimately we can only change our approach or our environment.
Stop Trying To Be Perfect
How our quest for perfection ultimately holds us back:
From Richard Williams, aka Prince EA, “STOP TRYING TO BE PERFECT”
“Oh, you thought perfection was real? Well, I disagree. Have you ever seen a perfect tree? In real life, have you ever gone into a forest and seen a perfect tree? No, see, they all got something going on. Some lean this way, some lean that way. Some have a little too much loss and some got a whole bunch of bark that has been ripped off.
But somehow they are all beautiful…
…So embrace your mistakes, they are to be savored. Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor. And true success is being yourself in a world that’s constantly trying to make you someone else.”
See his full video and the rest of his poem here
Click here for the Prince EA Youtube Channel
Successful Relationships
It is usually inevitable that disagreements will arise in most relationships, personal and professional. The difference between successful relationships and unsuccessful relationships is that successful relationships have the ability to solve disagreements peacefully, without personally attacking each other.
When personal attacks are made, trust and respect erode. So let’s commit to disagreeing without being disagreeable.
One way to help us do this is to keep focused on a solution (what each person needs to overcome the challenge) rather than the facts.
Focusing on facts means we are more concerned with being right, than we are with solving the disagreement.
By focusing on each person’s needs, we demonstrate respect and often develop mutually satisfying solutions.
And just a reminder, apologies can often break the log jam of a disagreement. An apology means that we value the relationship more than we value our ego.
Try it out. It’s not as hard as you think..